Not out of the woods Yet, but things are looking up

Psalm 33:18-22

But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear Him

on those whose hope is in His unfailing love

to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.

We wait in hope for the LORD,

He is our help and our shield.

In Him our hearts rejoice for we trust in His holy name.

May Your unfailing love rest upon us O LORD

even as we put our hope in You.

I've made it through all of the treatment, and now it's all about being checked on a regular basis and taking an estrogen suppressant (I think that's what it is) for the next seven years. I have a hard time taking something for 10 days, so this should be a challenge. Well, I'll probably get used to it, forgetting only once in a while.

I have to say that it feels like a major accomplishment just surviving the "cure". Certainly my body is not the same as before. The skin on my right chest is still very tight, and I have to be careful not to let my right are get swollen. The nerves in my fingers and toes are still tingly and I'm rather clumsy because of it. My senses of taste and smell are still on the mend. In other words, I don't trust them. I need to get new glasses, as my eyes have changed somewhat. I finally have enough hair so that when I go outside in the cold I can manage without a hat, though I still prefer the hat if it's cold. I'm not sure what color my hair is, but at least it's not all white. That was a big fear I had. It's only white on the edges. Well actually, the white is probably dispersed throughout, but not noticeable like it is on the very edge around my face.

I fell almost normal - well as normal as I can without being like I used to be. If I have any reconstruction done it will not be for quite a while, as my skin is soooooo tight, both from the operation and the radiation. My skin is still pealing a bit, even on my back. That is so creepy, getting a sunburn on my back, when then never actually aimed the machine at my back. It's just from the rays going through my body and burning the skin on the way out.

I have plenty of energy, and that feels so nice. But the new medicine does make me feels just a little bit queazy from time to time. I'll just need to ignore that. I've been walking and cooking and cleaning and organizing, and thinking of what else to do. Now of course that does not mean I'm overdoing it. I'm pretty good at sitting down to rest if I think I need it.

What I really want is to enjoy life, and especially enjoy my family. And I want to get my house all organized and get rid of everything I don't want and finish projects I've started, or get rid of them, and do projects I've always wanted to do. I'll just keep doing the next thing, with no thought to how long I'll be around. I could be here for another 30 years, Lord willing. Or not, according to His will. But I won't think about that so much.

Just a little while back I decided that I shouldn't take the Adavan so much, so I went to bed without taking my 1/2 mg pill. I could hardly sleep - maybe 3 hours at best. Then the next day I had several really bad panic attacks. I was worried that this was being cause by my being addicted to the pills. So the next time I saw the doctor I told him about this. He said emphatically that I wasn't addicted, and that it's totally understandable that I need to take them, and he gave me a new prescription for them. To now I take the 1/2 mg before I go to bed, and everything is fine.

So now, while I'm feeling on the mend, I will be blogging on Molly Loves Paris, and no more blogs for now on Molly's Trouble.

""I am an optimist.

It does not seem too much use being anything else."

Winston Churchill

"If you're going through hell, keep going."

Winston Churchill

"It is a mistake to look too far ahead.

Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time."

Winston Churchill

"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end.

But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."

Winston Churchill