"Behold, God is my helper;
The Lord is the sustainer of my soul.
He will recompense the evil to my foes;
Destroy them in Your faithfulness."
Psalm 54:4-5
Riley and I started out the day nice and easy. After we'd eaten and watered plants and got laundry started, we walked on over to Pete's, I bought an iced tea, and we did the puzzles in the paper. By the time we got back home we were almost late. I told Riley to go shower and shave, while I started lunch. I put it all in baggies. I think I need to get myself an insulated lunch bag, becasue I don't think this will be the last time I need to bring my lunch with me. I can't just eat anything. I'm really concerned about eating while chemo is surging through my body. I hear it makes everything taste yucky and metalic.Everything about cancer is scarry. A class is scarry. You know they're going to tell you more than you want to know, or that you know will now plague your mind. Riley decided to take the day off and be with me. He know I probably wouldn't listen probably in class. What he didn't know was that I'd probably ask more questions than the teacher could handle. And that was when I got the really discouraging info. The teacher herself had had chemo, and she said it makes you brain less than it was before. If you could process 5 things at a time before, afterwards you can only handle about 2 things at a time. She didn't even have any explanation as to why it impairs your brain!!
So I'm not going to just stand still and let my brain be damaged. It's amazing what people will put up with. It was like no big deal to the nurse. But for starters I will see to it that I use my brain as much as I can. To puzzles, read hard to read books, get involved in weighty conversations. Whatever it takes.
After leaving the cancer clinic we went to the Pearl, and went to Powell's, where I bought two knitting books. Both were at used prices. One was by Louisa Harding, a designer I really like, and the other was by Lucinda Guy, which contains a little boys sweater with a steam shovel on it, along with many other cute and amusing things. 
Then we went across the street and bought a new seive, as my old one was is over 40 years old, and was really bothering Riley. Then, lastly, we stopped at Anthropologia, where Riley got the perfect shaving mug, with an R on it.Somehow we ended up eat out at Nicholas' Restaurant (Syrian food). It was okay, but not as satisfying as my really healthy food. By the time we got home we had enough energy to watch Jeapordy and an inning of baseball. Then I went straight to bed. Nothing like sleep. Aaaaah.
Psalm 127: 1-2
Unless the LORD builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the LORD guards the city,
The watchman keeps awake in vain.
It is vain for you to rise up early,
To retire late,
To eat the bread of painful labors;
For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.
5 comments:
Hey Molly, I NEVER said food isn't important--food is one of the biggest things you can do for yourself to help prevent cancer from coming back (besides all the nasty drugs they are conspiring to give you. A Mediterranean diet is the best thing you can do for cancer prevention. NO, I would NEVER say that. What I DID say is that weight loss seldom happens to breast cancer patients, for some reason, according to my doctor and nurses. Oh, a couple of pounds, but nothing serious like is seen in some types of cancer. During chemo you will find that some things taste absolutely nasty. The important thing is to stay nourished as well as you can, and eat what you can keep down. Before and after treatment you can discipline yourself to eat what is really vital, but during chemo there will be times when you just can't face it.
Jennifer
Argh...its says Kraig again...Jennifer here!
Okay, I just read the rest of your post, and want to put your mind at ease. Chemotherapy DOES cause something that is real, called "chemo brain". It doesn't last, however. I think it's a mix of stress and anxiety, plus the steroids that are given along with the chemo (they help the body to take in the chemo better) and the drugs themselves. But it only lasts for awhile. Kraig had a joke he made up while I was on chemo. He said "It's every man's dream to be smarter than his wife. And for 6 months I got to be smarter than Jennifer." :) My brain came back. It wasn't that I didn't comprehend things, or that I didn't understand what I read, etc. It was that I was scatterbrained. I also forgot things I meant to do--short-term memory type things. But chemo doesn't make you less than you were before. Relax, Molly...it's temporary, and you will be the same Molly. Probably needing a lot more rest, but the same Molly. And once it's over, it's OVER--you get to be healthy and strong again, and you'll be fine. And once in awhile, if you forget something (even years later) you get to blame it on chemobrain instead of on yourself. :) I almost never forget anything now, to my husband's great dismay.
Jennifer
I think Nicholas' is Lebanese. :) Have you been to Habibi downtown (10th and Morrison) The owner is part of the same family and I like it better. Highly recommended!!
Hey, that's my girl who wrote in...and yes, we LOVE Haibi. Masen, the owner, is delightful, and his food is very, very good. You can always find something healthy there. The owners of Nicholas'are the aunt and uncle of Masen. He comes from Lebanon, but his parents were originally Syrian. Give it a try..it's close to one of my other favorite places, the Multnomah Central Library.
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