Day Twenty - the oncologist

Psalm 91:1-6

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High 
   will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 
I will say of the LORD, 
   "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Surely He will save you from the fowler's snare 
   and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with His feathers, 
   and under His wings you will find refuge; 
His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

Today started out rough.  I woke up at 5 o'clock and could NOT get back to sleep.  I should have taken one of my "be calm" pills, but it didn't occur to me.  I hadn't eaten enough yesterday, so I was in fact hungry, and that mixed with mild fear was making me nauseous.  Now that didn't seem fair, as I haven't even started chemo yet.  Riley left early, and didn't say goodbye, not wanting to wake me - though I wasn't asleep, just pretending.  So I finally realized I'd better eat, and headed down stairs.  Nausea doesn't help, so I just chose to finish off some cantaloupe.  But after a while I realized I needed more than that, so I had a fried egg on toast.  I found it hard to choke down, and it struck me that that was how it was probably going to be for quite a while.  

After finishing it I remembered that I was to call Dr. Johnson's office.  This was enough to help continue how crummy I felt.  The whole problem was really because I was so worried that I would find out some terribly bad news today.  Well it turned out that Winnie, at Dr. Johnson's office, just wanted to tell me that I needed to check into Good Sam at 6:30 in the morning on Monday for an 8:30 operation to implant my port.  Okay, so that wasn't sooo bad.  So I went and took a "be calm" pill, and tried to take a nap.  That was useless as trying to go back to sleep earlier this morning.  So I went up stairs and got dressed, as I needed to leave by 10:15, so I could pick up Riley at 10:30, so we could go to my appointment at 10:45.

We got there just about on time, and were told to have a seat and wait until they called me for some blood work.  We found a crossword puzzle, and that was a great help in taking my mind off things.  After they took the blood, we waited some more, and then the nurse who takes your vital signs called me.  I did weigh ten pound less that the last time I was weighed at Dr. Richardson's office.  And then we were ushered into a doctor type room, where we sat together on two chairs behind the door.  Finally Dr. Look came in.  He's a bit of a slow speaker, but that's okay, as I really like his soothing calm manner.  He finally managed to tell me that there were absolutely no surprises.  No cancer anywhere else in my body.  Just in my right breast, as they had know all along.  YES!!   and .... on of my tests that had been marked neutral and been upgraded to negative.  I don't know which one, but that was god news also.  So he talked to me more about what to expect, and what they would give me, which seemed to now eventually include radiation.  They hadn't mentioned that before.

They we went up to the infusion suit to make an appointment for my first chemo session.  It will hopefully be on Thursday, June 11th.  Scary.  The people up their weren't as friendly as I'd have liked, but maybe it will get better.  I'm certainly not going to sit in the soap opera end of the room.  I wonder if soaps are on all day.  I'd like to watch baseball.

Then we went home, where Corey was cooking great vegan muffins.  I had two for lunch, along with a hard boiled egg and some grapes.  I told Corey that she had better make lots of those for me, because they are healthy and go down easy.  I took Riley back to work, then I came home, took a second "be calm" pill, and took a three hour nap.  Even having to get up and talk on the phone didn't really wake me up.  I had an appointment at the chiropractors at 4:30.  I got up just in time to get there.  It was Dr. Doug, and he did a good job.  Then I went to Pioneer Place to wait for Riley to get off work.  After seeing if Talbots had any capri pants I liked (they didn't) I sat on a bench by the fountain, where Riley soon joined me.  

On the way home we stopped at Sushiville for dinner.  That was nice.  Then I fixed the couch so I could lay down on it, and Riley could be at the other end and rub my feet and we watch Jeopardy, and baseball.  Actually I slept soundly through the whole game.  Which was too bad because it was a good one.  They beat Baltimore.  YES!!!!

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,
        He leads me beside quiet waters,

He restores my soul.
       He guides me in paths of righteousness
       for His name's sake.

Even though I walk 

       through the valley of the shadow of death,
       I will fear no evil, for You are with me;
       Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me 

       in the presence of my enemies.
       You anoint my head with oil;
       my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me
       all the days of my life,
       and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.