Day Twenty Three - a very mellow day

Psalm 127:1-2

Unless the LORD builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the LORD guards the city,
The watchman keeps awake in vain.
It is vain for you to rise up early,
To retire late,
To eat the bread of painful labors;
For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.

Again I didn't sleep very well. I think that I'm not good a recognizing my stress level problems. I should have taken an Atavan. But instead I tossed and turned and got up way too early. Eventually I got around to sitting in bed and reading It's Not About the Hair. It was funny and poignant mixed together, but then she began to talk about her own experience of getting ready for going in to a mastectomy. Talk about an Atavan moment. It's the day before and she has to go to Nordstrum's to buy a mastectomy camisole. It's constructed in such a way that you step into it, ash you can't raise your arm. And then, it has two pockets in the front where you put your drainage bulb. My sister-in-law made mention of this bulb. She said it was David job to empty it. They both looked like this was a yucky job. All the while the author is wishing she could just be buying pretty lingerie. Well I'm not small enough for that, but then I realize I'm going to look really lopsided, and that's not a good thought. Then she goes on to describe going in to the hospital for the mastectomy. I was pretty much frozen by this point, but I read on. They put you on a huge gurney, and put inflatable stockings on you legs. Well that was enough for me to know - or I should say - more than enough. And what on earth am I going to wear if I can only wear clothes I can step into. I think I'll be down to the cut robe and pajama bottom set that I bought at Goodwill before I had my arm surgery. I remember thinking at the time that if I wore the suit with confidence I could go out in public in it. It would just need high heels. I know that I got clothes on when my rotator cuff had the tendons reattached. But how did I do it? I mostly wore those above mentioned pajama bottoms, because I could get them on and off with one hand, Worry, worry, worry.

"So do not worry about tomorrow; 

for tomorrow will care for itself. 

Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 6:34 

So I put the book away for now, and went down stairs and got on my computer.  We had thought that we were going to go out and visit an organic farm that makes cheese, and then to the Heritage Rose Garden, but the weather was crummy.  Then at about 8:30 Christian called, needing a ride to school.  So I got dressed and we got Christian to school, and then we went to Zell's Cafe for breakfast, where I had oatmeal.  It was a pleasant time, but Riley had a worried look on his face.  This was partly due to the fact that he had not yet showered and shaved, but also because he doesn't like being in the dark as to what he's going to do for the day.  C'est la vie, for gosh sakes.  

Water color of Zell's Cafe by Mila Raphael

We went home, eventually had lunch - egg salad sandwich, baby organic carrots, organic cantaloupe - and then I went up stairs to take a nap, because I really was very sleepy.  But I just lay then in a semi-sleep state.  I finally realized that I was probably just tooooo tense to sleep.  So I took an Atavan.  Then shortly after that Christian called asking for a ride home, as it was raining and he had hurt his leg while on a field trip.  We dropped him off at his home, and then went to Powells - always a pleasant place to be on a rainy day.  I bought Laurel's Bread Book, as I want to get a bunch of good muffins and tea breads made and in the freezer because they are healthy and easy to eat.  I was getting very tired - the pill was probably acting on my already very tired state.  I wondered around Powells in a doppy state until Riley called me.  His ring tone for me is Crazy on You from Heart, and I never miss that the phone is mine when that rings.  Riley secretly installed that ring on my phone.  I don't know how he did it, or I'd to that to him.  But I think that his ring for me is Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison.

We stopped for a bit of sushi on the way home, and that was a pleasant thing.  Then shortly after we got home I laid down on the couch and that was it for me.  I slept there for 4 hours.  Then I got up, took another Atavan, and went straight to bed, where I slept straight through for 7 hours.  I think I was really in need of sleep.  I know that under the surface I nervous about all that is going to happen to me, but I simply must take it just one day at a time, like Jesus said.  I need to lean on Him, and He'll take care of me.

"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, 

for I am gentle and humble in heart, 

and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS."  

Matthew 11:29